For the People Who Hold Us: A Practice of Gratitude
“Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.”
— bell hooks
November often invites us into gratitude, but for many of us, gratitude is not just a list of things we’re thankful for, which can feel disconnected and performative. A large part of the kind of gratitude that changes and heals us is relational. It lives in the hands that steady us, the voices that encourage us, the communities that remind us we are not alone.
This kind of gratitude goes beyond appreciation.
It is recognition.
It is remembrance.
It is reciprocity.
It is acknowledging the people who hold us, seen and unseen.
Gratitude for the Hands That Steady Us
Think about the mentors who offered wisdom when you were lost.
The friends who showed up when life felt heavy.
The ancestors whose resilience lives in your bones.
The chosen family who witnessed you becoming more fully yourself.
These connections shape us in ways we rarely pause to name.
Gratitude becomes a way of saying:
I see how you’ve impacted me.
I carry your support.
Your presence has mattered.
Why Relational Gratitude Heals
Connection-based gratitude is powerful because it speaks to a deep truth of our wellbeing:
We are not meant to grow or heal alone.
From a mindfulness perspective, relationships are mirrors for compassion, interdependence, and belonging.
From a somatic perspective, being held—emotionally, energetically, or physically—helps regulate the nervous system and softens the places inside us that have been bracing for too long.
We are shaped in connection, wounded in connection, and, beautifully, healed in connection too.
A Gentle Practice: Honoring the People Who Hold You
This ritual is simple, somatic, and grounding. You can do it in a few minutes or linger as long as you like.
1. Pause & Sense
Close your eyes. Place a hand on your heart, belly, or anywhere you feel supported.
Notice what arises in your body as you ask:
“Who has held me this year?” This can be someone personally known to you or not.
Let your breath settle you.
2. Remember
Allow faces, stories, or moments to surface. Don’t force anything.
Just witness what appears.
Maybe someone offered encouragement.
Maybe someone stayed on the phone longer than they “should.”
Maybe someone loved you quietly, without fanfare.
3. Feel the Gratitude in Your Body
Instead of thinking why you’re grateful, sense how gratitude feels:
warmth in the chest
tears at the edges of your eyes
a softening of the shoulders
the breath growing deeper
Let the feeling settle into your body.
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4. Offer Something Back
You might choose to:
send a message or voice note
write a letter you’ll mail (or never send)
speak their name aloud
place a hand on your heart and whisper thank you
This is reciprocity—a way of circling the gratitude back.
A Closing Reflection
Gratitude for connection reminds us that we do not walk our path alone.
We are shaped, strengthened, and supported by the relationships that hold us through change, uncertainty, growth, and becoming.
This month, may your gratitude be spacious enough to honor the people who have steadied you—and may it also gently remind you that you are someone who holds others, too.
No hard sell — just a short conversation to clarify your priorities.
